"Intuition is the whisper of the soul."  Krishnamurti 

This week I did something I felt I "should" do rather than wanted to.  I should not have been surprised when the universe tried it's best to make it fail miserably and not at all surprised that I felt strangely afterwards.  

I felt off.  

I struggled over the next few days to figure out what exactly was wrong and instead of recognizing what I had done, I just became frustrated and fussy and short tempered.

Have you had this happen?  You are just feeling not right and in turn you are easily frustrated and annoyed, but you CANNOT put your finger on what's wrong!?

"Intuition doesn't tell you what you want to hear; it tells you what you need to hear."   Sonia Choquette

Finally - a light went on and I got it.  While I had done something well and it wasn't a horrible mess, it wasn't what I wanted, dreamed or aspired to.  It was what I thought other people expected of me.

Let me say here and now - I deal with this a lot.  Expectations.  Many of these are clearly stated by others and some are, honestly - what I think others want from me.  None of these are good for the soul and they often chafe and itch.  They are bonds that tie us up and weigh us down - holding us back from expressing our true selves.  And when you aren't doing what you truly want, need and believe in - it feels WRONG.

"You know the truth by the way it feels."  Unknown
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You see, I cannot be what others expect.  I cannot be what I think others expect.  I can only be me and I am okay with that.  Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am good enough as I am.

Do you struggle with this sometimes?  With expectations and the weight of them?

Know this - YOU ARE WONDERFUL, AMAZING, PERFECT AND HAVE SO MUCH TO OFFER!

Just as you are, right now, today, in this moment.

Trust this.  Trust your intuition.  Let it guide you on your journey and support you in living your most beautiful life.

See you on the mat!
Aprille  

"Step into the light.  Unseen forces are cheering you on."   Cheryl Richardson

This month we are talking about TRUE - being true, living true, exploring our truth.  Last week we talked about how truth asks us to be brave, free, and non-judgmental.  Satya or truth asks us to, mindfully in the present, ask ourselves "what is true right now" so that we can let go of the old ideas that restrict us from living our truest lives.

Releasing what doesn't support us, opening our eyes to new ideas and reevaluating our values and truths constantly, defining and redefining our TRUTH.  It can be hard.  It can be really hard to look at what you once believed to be wholly true for you and in the new light of information, and life changes, realize things no longer align with your inner value system and life dreams.  No one said truth is easy.

"I heard a voice that told me I'm essential.  How all my fears are limiting my potential.  Said it's time to step into the light and use every bit of power I have inside."  India Arie

Light has a way of shining in every corner, lighting up the good, the bad and the crazy.  It lights up the things we often wish would stay hidden but in dragging those out, shining a light there, we become more free.  The weight of shadow, guilt and fear begins to dissipate.

Truth is hard because often we think it might be easier to just go along with something, agree for the sake of peace or make choices because they seem easier.  But, eventually, as many of you probably have already experienced, the truth comes out and then everyone is angry and frustrated.  What would have happened had the boundary of truth and respect been already in place?  Yes, truth can be a boundary.  It's a place where you say this is where I am at right now and you are there and we are both okay so let's be respectful.  

When you hold back in the shadows you limit your potential.  You can be doing so much more as a free, nonjudgmental, brave soul.  You can change the world, share YOUR light, BE all that you can but you have to live your truth and that means stepping into the light and letting it shine brightly on every little aspect of your life.   

"A pure heart open to the light, will be filled with the very essence of Truth."  Rumi

Be open, be brave and open up to the light.  Fill yourself with the TRUTH.  

See you on the mat!
Aprille  

"For every person who might reject you if you live your truth, there are ten others who will embrace you and welcome you home."  Marianne Williamson
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We are in the fourth quarter of the year and as I look back over the year - I see a few things that stand out for me.  Lots and lots of TRUTH.

From my health to my business to my life and so much more.  Truth, living my truth, exploring my truth has been center stage all year long.  For me, it's been about defining what my core values are and what are ever-changing aspects of truth based on life whirling around me.  It's been shocking, fulfilling, terrifying and also really amazing to have lived a year where my concept of truth has been challenged and really redefined itself.

"All truth passes through three stages.  First, it is ridiculed.  Second, it is violently opposed.  Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."  Arthur Schopenhauer

In the yoga tradition there is a concept called Satya (the second Yama or basic tenet of yoga lifestyle).  Satya translates roughly as honesty and truthfulness in words, thoughts and actions.  Sat = as it is.  This basic tenet asks us to be authentic and true so that our actions align with our values.  

But, Satya can change.  What one person told you that at one point WAS true may no longer be so.  Life is not always one way or another - it constantly evolves - so we need to ask ourselves mindfully and constantly, "What is true now?"  What you may have believed or even was true at some point in your life may have changed, your view of the world changed, your experiences changed, and so have you.  Truth itself tends to shift as we learn, grow, and expand our perspective.  

"Owning your mind and living your truth can be a solitary path sometimes, but it is absolutely worth it."  John Mark Green

Living mindfully in the present can help us define and redefine our truths and help us live our lives in harmony with our deep core values.  I value integrity, honesty, authenticity VERY much in both myself and others and this is a deep set value of mine.  However, how do I work with that day to day on a case by case basis?  These are the things Satya asks us to look at mindfully in the present moment as we seek to apply this to our lives.

Satya/truth asks us to be brave - allowing us to challenge our beliefs from day to day and release what no longer serves us or is valid. 

Satya/truth asks us to be honest in what we do each day, how we live our lives, who we are in relationships with.  It asks us to stop lying to ourselves and others and walk fearlessly through our day.

Satya/truth asks us to be free from judgment - allowing us to welcome new ideas, explore our beliefs and limitations and be open to change.

BRAVE.  FREE.  HONEST.  This month I ask you to look back over your year and see where Satya fits into your life.  What will you do in these last few months of the year to include more TRUTH in your life?  Are you ready to be brave?  Are you ready to be free?  Are you ready to be honest?

See you on the mat!
Aprille  

"The moment of surrender is not when life is over.  It's when life begins."  Marianne Williamson

"Can we have a talk about letting go, surrender?" These words came from my ever so wise acupuncturist after I had a little mini type A meltdown and tearful moment.  She's said, "Are you one of those people holding onto stuff?  Grief, sadness, anger, fear? Because these things affect your heart health and that's what you are seeing.  Your light is being blocked by these things." 

Wait.  What?

Okay, I know that emotions and the physical body are directly related and fully intertwined but sometimes I bury stuff or pretend it's all okay when really, it's not.  Sometimes I hang on to stuff with the tiniest of threads.  Don't we all?

A few years ago I lost three beautiful beings from my life in rapid succession.  It almost broke me.  These beings were the lights in my life, the sunshine, the best friends I had.  All gone.  I grieved and processed and to be honest, thought I had it all worked through.  Until she said those words.  And then, then I realized that I needed to let those beautiful beings go.   

"Sometimes it's not the times you decide to fight, but the times you decide to surrender, that make all the difference."  Unknown

And then I began to realize all the other things I hadn't fully released.  Yes, I processed them and yes, I worked through them but I was hanging on by a thread to them (and maybe a few other things too!).   I meditated and imagined myself holding fast to balloons and with a smile and a wish I released them.  This felt good but not complete.

Harvest Full Moon - enter here.  What perfect timing.  I chose a letting go ritual and as I sat in the light of the moon outside (with a candle, paper, pen and some Palo Santo to burn), I said thank you to these beings, to these experiences, to these beautiful moments, and felt enormous gratitude for their effect on my life and then, with tears I said, "I release you."

An enormous weight dropped off of me.  I felt a smile inside and I felt I had done what they would have wanted me to do.  They deserved to be thanked and let go!

"The greater your storm, the brighter your rainbow."  Unknown
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Yesterday as I drove, my mind fluttering over all the things to do, I spotted an enormous rainbow arcing across the sky.  I was mesmerized.  Dark ominous clouds hung back behind it as if afraid to enter its domain.  That rainbow OWNED the sky.

It is rare to see rainbows or maybe I just don't see them much but it imprinted on me as a message.  Thank you.  Thank you for letting us go.  Thank you for honoring us.  Thank you for practicing self love and choosing to LIVE fully in the present moment.  Shine bright and keep the clouds away!

Are you hanging on?  Are you honoring the experiences, people, beings of your life that have taught you pivotal lessons (good or bad)?  Are you choosing to move forward, fully present or are you, like me, hanging on by a thread to what was?

On this journey of life, I choose to honor all those beings/experiences/feelings in my life, all those who brought light into my world and all those who changed my life by choosing to live fully present in the moment.

How about you?

See you on the mat!
Aprille