Traveling Lighter

"The moment of surrender is not when life is over.  It's when life begins."  Marianne Williamson

"Can we have a talk about letting go, surrender?" These words came from my ever so wise acupuncturist after I had a little mini type A meltdown and tearful moment.  She's said, "Are you one of those people holding onto stuff?  Grief, sadness, anger, fear? Because these things affect your heart health and that's what you are seeing.  Your light is being blocked by these things." 

Wait.  What?

Okay, I know that emotions and the physical body are directly related and fully intertwined but sometimes I bury stuff or pretend it's all okay when really, it's not.  Sometimes I hang on to stuff with the tiniest of threads.  Don't we all?

A few years ago I lost three beautiful beings from my life in rapid succession.  It almost broke me.  These beings were the lights in my life, the sunshine, the best friends I had.  All gone.  I grieved and processed and to be honest, thought I had it all worked through.  Until she said those words.  And then, then I realized that I needed to let those beautiful beings go.   

"Sometimes it's not the times you decide to fight, but the times you decide to surrender, that make all the difference."  Unknown

And then I began to realize all the other things I hadn't fully released.  Yes, I processed them and yes, I worked through them but I was hanging on by a thread to them (and maybe a few other things too!).   I meditated and imagined myself holding fast to balloons and with a smile and a wish I released them.  This felt good but not complete.

Harvest Full Moon - enter here.  What perfect timing.  I chose a letting go ritual and as I sat in the light of the moon outside (with a candle, paper, pen and some Palo Santo to burn), I said thank you to these beings, to these experiences, to these beautiful moments, and felt enormous gratitude for their effect on my life and then, with tears I said, "I release you."

An enormous weight dropped off of me.  I felt a smile inside and I felt I had done what they would have wanted me to do.  They deserved to be thanked and let go!

"The greater your storm, the brighter your rainbow."  Unknown
​
Yesterday as I drove, my mind fluttering over all the things to do, I spotted an enormous rainbow arcing across the sky.  I was mesmerized.  Dark ominous clouds hung back behind it as if afraid to enter its domain.  That rainbow OWNED the sky.

It is rare to see rainbows or maybe I just don't see them much but it imprinted on me as a message.  Thank you.  Thank you for letting us go.  Thank you for honoring us.  Thank you for practicing self love and choosing to LIVE fully in the present moment.  Shine bright and keep the clouds away!

Are you hanging on?  Are you honoring the experiences, people, beings of your life that have taught you pivotal lessons (good or bad)?  Are you choosing to move forward, fully present or are you, like me, hanging on by a thread to what was?

On this journey of life, I choose to honor all those beings/experiences/feelings in my life, all those who brought light into my world and all those who changed my life by choosing to live fully present in the moment.

How about you?

See you on the mat!
Aprille