"Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained." Somers Roche
I have this project that has been on my desk for over 6 months. I have it all planned out, all settled, all ready to go. I really want it to be complete but I find myself coming up with a thousand excuses why it cannot.
This month I dedicated myself to sweeping the excuses away and getting to the crux of why I was holding off on this project. I set reasonable weekly goals and amazingly, it all came together. Today I had one more thing to do - film the dreaded promotional video.
You would think that someone who spends an inordinate amount of time in front of people - either live or on camera - would be perfectly comfortable with a 2 minute promotional video. WRONG!
I fretted, sweated, procrastinated, fidgeted, panicked, until I could put it off no longer. It MUST be done.
"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need." Tao Te Ching
I set the camera up, got everything ready and had my daughter help me out for filming. She said "Mom, you are going to be fine. They will love you."
Wow. She's always been wise for her age but seriously. She's a rock in my crazy work world. If you didn't know, my daughter Bella is my assistant. She helps me with all the business stuff involved in my yoga world - freeing up my time to be creative and film videos. She's also the voice of reason, handy filming assistant, idea bouncer offer, editor, cheerleader, and suggestion box.
The promo took 3 tries (did I mention I don't like filming promos?). Why? Because I am not good at promoting myself. Because I don't like doing it. Because I believe it is not real. So there it is. It took me six months to figure out that my whole issue was anxiety about a 2 minute promo video. I am terrified of being judged on a 2 minute video.
"Smile, breathe, and go slowly." Thich Nhat Hanh
What can anyone possibly learn about me from 2 minutes on screen? NOTHING.
And that's the point. Most people won't even watch the promo and honestly, most people will not decide to join me based on those 2 minutes. My anxiety is about something totally pointless. IT IS ALL IN MY HEAD. This is me...that little voice saying I can't do it.
This is me...my bigger voice saying I CAN! I did it. The project is done - in fact I completed TWO projects this week that I was afraid to do. Freedom is about so many things. For me this week - it's freedom from anxiety, freedom from fear, freedom from judging myself. It's been about letting go of all the things I think about myself and exploring my potential.
Is there anything in your life you have been putting off because you are anxious, fearful, overly critical of yourself? It's time to break those habits, explore your potential, and BREAK FREE!!!
I have been "playing" and experimenting with yoga, aromatherapy and healthy living since my late teens - researching, testing, reading, investigating, and learning anything that would make my life - and the lives around me - better naturally.
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