A Little Meltdown...
I would love to blame it on the full moon, Mercury in retrograde, the heat in Texas (over 100 F) but really - it's me. This week I had a little meltdown. I found a mistake (small, but being Type A makes it HUGE) in a video that required me taking it down, editing it, rendering it again and uploading a second time. This was not the first video in the last few months to have this happen to.
I sat at my desk and cried. I felt overwhelmed, tired, depleted, and in desperate need of a vacation. I literally fell apart. I kept repeating over and over again - I am doing too much!
But a vacation, although nice, is not really what I need...
Note to Self:
I don't have to take this day
all at once, but rather, one step,
one breath, one moment at a time.
I am only one person.
A vacation or break might help for a little bit but really, it's about my own need to be so much more than I am physically capable of, of doing more than I really can fit into my schedule comfortably, of not taking more time for self care and deep rest, of not setting boundaries, of never saying no. This is not guilt here speaking but truth.
I do this to myself. I set unreal expectations for myself and then when I falter, I melt down. People will only ask of you what you are willing to give. You only need to give what you can. You are the MASTER OF YOUR ENERGY.
"Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be." Dr. Wayne Dyer
What does that mean? It means we are so over-stressed that we don't even know how to be still. It means we have been told that self care is selfish. It means we believe that activity and results matter more than happiness, sweetness, self love. It means we feel driven to produce and produce and produce.
We are the masters of our energy. We choose the path. We change the world by changing OUR world and our perspective. We set the boundaries to what we can and cannot give and do and be. We are enough. You are enough just as you are without more than that.
I have a lot of work to do in managing my Type A driven personality and I am slowly, but surely, putting in new ways to slow down, let go, release my grip on doing. I am working on BEING rather than DOING.
If this is you too...here, take my hand...we are in this together and we will find our way. From me to you...a hug and some hope.
10/16/2021 11:53:25 am
The exact way I have been feeling. Major meltdown yesterday. I wouldn't call myself an A type. Thank you for putting it so succinctly! Misery loves company.
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I have been "playing" and experimenting with yoga, aromatherapy and healthy living since my late teens - researching, testing, reading, investigating, and learning anything that would make my life - and the lives around me - better naturally.
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